Open Minded

Holding out for love

What is love? Well what is it considered these days by the people among our society. I guess it really depends on the person. But by observing the people around me and the choices a few of my friends, it seems to be used as a toy, something that isn’t held as dearly as it should be. Being single can suck, and sometimes it find myself whining over it and feeling upset that ‘nobody likes me’ or that i haven’t had the experience of a first kiss. But lately I’ve put some thought into it and realized that being in a relationship isn’t just about the material things like kissing and touching, but it’s about how you cherish the person, and love them for who they are despite their flaws and faults. So, referring back to the title; as we live in a society that puts the pressure to be with someone because two people might be a little interested in each other. So they ‘go out’, both unwilling to be committed to the other person, which then ends up in a break up with both people moving on as if they never knew each other (in some cases). I guess what I’m trying to put across is that, we, as fragile, hopeless human beings, have this need for companionship, to be wanted by someone but sometimes jumping in to the deep end too soon.

Many of us have this need for someone, to be wanted by someone, to have someone who will hold us when we cry or maybe kiss us when ‘our lips are dry’. Now I’m not saying that having those feelings are bad or weird, they’re totally normal, especially with people my age, teenagers. The adolescent years can be frustrating, with changes in and on the body, and figuring out who we are gonna be and stuff. But the changes in hormones and the way we think in sexual terms can be really annoying. Now I know that probably sounds really weird and kinda gross, but the sexual tension and feelings that we have towards the opposite sex as we grow older becomes more of a problem in the relationship department. The need for sex or the need for touch can only come from someone outside of your family. But as we see on movies and around us, people do these things outside of relationships altogether. Sex has been made to be this toy that people share around with anyone they please, and not giving it any second thought as to how it’s meant to be used. I personally don’t believe in sex before marriage, and I know that it’s a debated topic. But in a marriage, both people have committed themselves to spending the rest of their life with one person. A few months ago at youth group, I was given this depiction of how we are as individuals. We are like a rose. So on our wedding day we want to give our spouse this beautiful full rose, but if we do other things with other people, such as having sex, a petal is taken off each time. So by the time it comes to give our full self to our spouse, all there is to give is this frumpy, thorny looking stalk. Giving yourself away to other people that you don’t care about, or that you don’t intend to hold and cherish like there’s no tomorrow is one way to end up broken. Sex is not a toy or something that is to be treated like a commodity, it is something that we are to give to the one person that will love you for the rest of your life despite your flaws and faults, till death do you part. Holding out for love, is waiting for the right time to give yourself away.
Finding ‘Mr or Mrs right’ is a topic I really struggle with. Dating other people before marriage is not a bad thing. However, dating people just for the sake of it shouldn’t be an option on anyone’s list. Dating somebody because you’re willing give your full self to them and commit to being there for them, is okay. But it’s always vital to make sure that you’re actually ‘sure’ about the person you’re going to be with. I always think that it’s better to start off as friends instead of just jumping straight into the relationship without knowing anything about the other person or their intentions. I think that being in love or just love itself is a very delicate thing. So when deciding on whether to head into a committed relationship with another delicate individual like yourself, it’s always handy to know their intentions and them know about yours. But also, that they know who you are, and that you know who they are. By not knowing anything about the person that you are going to possibly pursue, is not a great start to what should be a committed pact between two individuals. Because maybe three weeks or a month through, you might find things about the other person that you don’t like or that you just don’t really mesh together well. So it’s always best to ‘know’ the other person first, and really hold out for them.

Love is delicate, love is fragile. Love is knowing when it’s the ‘right’ time. I personally believe that holding out for love, or holding out for someone who could be right for you will be more satisfying than jumping straight into it without any real intentions or thoughts about commitment or obligation for your companion. Overall, if everyone was to hold out for love, there wouldn’t be as many tear puddles from the heartbreaks of unnecessary break ups or divorces that would’ve become from those who didn’t ‘hold out’.

Loads of love from

Rachel xx

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